April 2024
What Really Matters
March taught me a lot about how I want to spend my time in April. I learned that you have to fight hard to make time for what is really important. In the procrastination class that I took from Dr. Tim Pychyl I became aware of how many distractions were keeping me from reaching my goals. I did my own time study and confirmed that the internet, phone and computer can be evil little black boxes that suck the time right out of your day. Whenever I sit down in front of one of them I have to ask myself what else I should be doing and what would be more fulfilling?
What do you really want to do?
In March I was painfully reminded how precious our time is. If you are not proactive there are dozens of things, people, and demands waiting in line to steal your time. If you lose money on an investment you might be able to make that money back but once time is gone you can’t get it back. Dr. Ivan Misner, the founder and CEO of BNI (Business Network International) has had a profound effect on me. I’m taking a class from him based on his book “Who’s in Your Room?”. He emphasized that you can accomplish a lot but you can’t do it all. Trust me, I’ve tried it and you just end up tired, cranky and disorganized! It’s so important to intentionally chose how to spend your time. This is important because in addition to distractions and demands, death will eventually come to take your last minute. I was saddened last week when the husband of one of my BNI colleagues suddenly died of a heart attack at the age of 52. It was a painful reminder of how I felt when my own husband died of a heart attack on Holy Saturday.
What difficult decisions do you need to make?
Thankfully, I always knew that it was important to spend special time with my husband even though I was a workaholic. (I’m a recovering workaholic but still have relapses!) It’s imperative to imagine what you want a relationship to be like before it’s too late. Even if you only have a few minutes, reach out to loved ones. My godson just had an unexpected stroke at 52. I still have so much I want to tell him and to do with him. An older friend of mine almost died recently of pneumonia. It’s important to have deep, intense and even painful conversations with your loved ones while you still can. My dear friend Larry Keenan had ALS for years. He knew that he was dying and we talked openly about it. We made a promise to each other. Every time we talked one of us would say “if I don’t see you tomorrow, I’ll see you in heaven”. Luckily I had that same promise with my husband and father.
Who should you spend time with before it’s too late?
It’s obvious that I’m a very serious if not a rather morbid person. However, I do understand that we must also plan fun, memorable times. I had an older cousin that I particularly admired, Jean Hall Seyfarth. Her favorite bible verse was Psalm 118:24 “This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.” April helps bring out that quest for joy. Besides working, it’s important to enjoy yourself while you still can. Plan time to enjoy the wonders of spring, if nothing else get a pot of spring flowers and put it next to your front door. Spend more time with your favorite outdoor hobby. It’s never too late to have a hopeful plan. The day my husband died he was talking about buying a new fishing boat. I’m planning more time with my horses.
What could bring joy to your life?
April symbolizes growth and renewal. Dr. Ivan Misner teaches that it’s important to surround yourself with people whose values resonate with your values. Their values don’t have to be exactly the same as yours but they should be values you respect or that complement your own values. In BNI we have core values of givers gain, building relationships, lifelong learning, traditions and innovation, positive attitude, accountability and recognition. My own core values that I discovered by taking the Values in Action Survey are spirituality, generosity, honesty, perseverance and bravery. As a mentor to younger business professionals, I enjoy helping them discover their own values. When we use our core values we make better business decisions. We also have better personal relationships when we are true to our values.
Have you been true to your own values?
As an example of this I will showcase a fellow BNI member, Jason Grant, sales manager of Roof One LLC (roofonemidwest.com 417-313-5153). I realized that there was something wrong with my roof because there were shingles all over the yard. But I was afraid to call a roofer: I had some very bad experiences with roofers in the past. Jason had joined my BNI and gradually gained my trust. He didn’t even have to tell me his core values, they were obvious. Jason and his wife had been over the road truckers. They lived in their truck for two years so that they could start a new life. That definitely signified bravery and persistence. Jason became an insurance adjuster and was hired by Roof One. His boss appreciated his work ethic and soon promoted him to be the sales manager. As I got to know Jason better I discovered that he was similar to me in that he valued spirituality and honesty. Although I knew many other roofers I called Jason because his values were in line with my own values. With his training as an adjuster he was able to help me negotiate the nightmare of filing and resolving my hail damage claim.
Who do you admire and trust?
I’d love to show you what Jason has done for my vacation rental. It looks so much fresher with its new roof, gutters, and other repairs. I can barely wait to accent the new look with pots of annuals. Come spend an April weekend; the grass is greening up, trees are flowering and the surrounding fields have baby calves! Later this year I will be giving workshops on Dr. Ivan Misner’s “Who’s in Your Room?” at my country retreat. I hope you’ll join me.
https://evolve.com/vacation-rentals/us/mo/buffalo/462541?queryID=2c2f70dd5b526a4ad69f3561a0e8645d
https://evolve.com/vacation-rentals/us/mo/buffalo/462542?queryID=2c2f70dd5b526a4ad69f3561a0e8645d
