October 2024
A Season to Savor
Fall is my favorite season and I want to savor every last minute of it. I put my Fall decorations up in September so I could enjoy them as long as possible. It has been fun drinking Fall flavored coffees with creamers such as pumpkin spice and cinnamon apple. I have been revisiting some techniques from positive psychology. My mastermind coach Dr. Jo-Linda Butterfield urged me to study and practice the 10 positive emotions that have been identified and researched by the positive psychologist, Dr. Barbara Fredrickson. Experiencing and savoring these emotions has been correlated with greater life satisfaction. I am going to list them with a descriptor given by Joel Wilner:
Joy
Joy usually happens when we feel safe, happy and comfortable.
Gratitude
Gratitude is an emotion or an attitude of appreciation.
Serenity
Serenity comes when things are going just right. This state of peacefulness and tranquility comes in moments of stillness and calm when you can be present in the moment.
Interest
Interest comes from being curious or engaged and is a state of intrigue or wonder. When you experience interest you are more open to new experiences.
Hope
Hope is a belief and feeling that things will eventually turn out for the best. Problems are not permanent and the future is promising despite tough circumstances. Hope is different than wishing. Hope implies that you will take some action or focus on some positive thoughts.
Pride
Pride is a feeling of dignity and importance in what we do or have accomplished. It may come from a sense that what we have done is purposeful and meaningful and leads us to believing in our potential to do greater things.
Amusement
We experience amusement in fun, humor and playful situations. For instance, we may be amused watching a puppy frolic or engaging in a fun activity. Amusement helps build connections with others.
Inspiration
Inspiration comes when we witness or hear about a very moving and uplifting story. We are inspired when we see true goodness or someone going above and beyond the call of duty.
Awe
Awe is a feeling of wonder and reverence toward something powerful or admirable. It happens when you experience the power of God. Some people experience awe when observing nature such as a sunset or the ocean. It makes us realize how small we are in comparison to the vastness of the universe.
Love
Love can be described as a compilation of all of the above emotions. Love is an amalgamation of all the emotions experienced together throughout our life. Love is a strong attachment or connection.
I have studied positive psychology for years but I was still struggling with describing and experiencing these positive emotions. These descriptions of the emotions have been helpful to me and I hope they will be helpful to you. I tend to be emotionally flat and unexpressive. For one thing, I realized that some of these emotions are a very quiet, inward, and personal experience. I found that I was confusing experiencing emotion by noticing people who are more outwardly expressive such as a young girl squealing, jumping up and down and clapping her hands.
Have you ever been confused about how you were feeling?
The emotions we are talking about here are possible for anyone to experience regardless of age, gender, or ethnicity. I realized that stress and worry are preventing some of these emotions. Joy, serenity, and awe cannot be experienced by someone who is constantly worrying about what they haven’t done, what they should be doing, and what they should do in the future. It’s hard to express interest and amusement when you are always busy working. I would know: I’m describing myself.
Are you too busy to enjoy yourself?
What has helped me the most is devoting the first hour of my day to awe and gratitude. When I get up I watch the sun come up and pray. What I don’t do is look at my phone or computer. It is also helpful to dispel misconceptions about certain emotions. Pride is not a sin if you are merely feeling a sense of accomplishment after doing something purposeful and meaningful. I used to think of amusement and fun as something just for children. Adults need to have fun too but many of us just don’t have the time. It’s important to create some fee time even if it’s only 10 or 15 minutes to have fun. I’m amused by the cute things that my horses do.
How do you have fun?
Our emotions are often so fleeting. That is why the famous positive psychologist Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky talked about the importance of savoring. An emotion or experience can be savored in the moment, as a memory from the past or in anticipation of a future event. Songs can help you experience and savor positive emotions. As I was writing about emotions I remembered an old song from 1969 by Jr. Walker and the All Stars called “Got to hold on to this feeling”. The album cover even had a picture of a girl holding onto a huge sculpture made of the letters for the word feeling. This song also explained love by saying “One look and we’ll seem as one. That’s how easy we communicate. If love could sign on a dotted line, it would surely find your name next to mine.” Listening to songs can help us find words for our feelings, and savor them.
What are you savoring?
To have life satisfaction and motivation it is important to look for inspiration. Since it is October I want to honor my deceased friend Larry Keenan who was the embodiment of inspiration. Larry and I went to school and church together for 9 years. He worked hard on his family dairy farm, never complained, and was the boy who always stood up for the kids that were picked on. Larry and I resumed our friendship when I ran into him in church after his wife had died after going through a long battle with cancer. Larry was a caretaker and had also cared for his grandmother and mother when they were elderly. Instead of feeling sorry for himself, Larry always tried to cheer other people up. Later Larry himself suffered for years with ALS and was eventually confined to a wheelchair. You would think that it would have been depressing to visit Larry but we always had so much fun and laughed a lot. I always felt better after a visit with Larry. Larry passed away on 10-10-2010 in his sleep. One of the last things Larry and I did together was shop for mums. Larry loved the changing seasons, holidays, and yellow mums. Every time I see a yellow mum I savor all of the good times we had together. You got to hold on to that feeling.
Who inspires you?
If you want to get in touch with some positive emotions and savor Fall, come relax at my country retreat in Buffalo Missouri. That’s where you’ll find awe and serenity.
https://evolve.com/vacation-rentals/us/mo/buffalo/462541?queryID=2c2f70dd5b526a4ad69f3561a0e8645d
https://evolve.com/vacation-rentals/us/mo/buffalo/462542?queryID=2c2f70dd5b526a4ad69f3561a0e8645d
